Why can't I calm down?

See it as an alert of your boundaries system.

Say to yourself: "okay, so now I'm angry because a boundary was breached". By simply acknowledging that, you are in a better place to start and move on.

See your anger as your inner child, knocking on the door and saying:

"Okay, listen to me for a second; Something here is not right. I'm not receiving what I deserve"

This is when you can ask:

"I hear you. What is it that you deserve instead of what you're currently receiving?"

OR

"What is it that you need and not receiving healthily?"

The anger is not on your partner, boyfriend, kids, parents, colleagues or the postman. The anger you feel is towards yourself, that you're still allowing these breaching boundaries to happen.

That's it.

Whenever you feel angry, I encourage you to make this inner conversation with yourself, then, not only your boundaries will become more and more firm and clear, but you'll be able to release the need of anger to remind you of that

One feeling at a time